The social aspect of Raw-food-eating
Hi there! My name is Vviki and I'm happy to say that I'm trying to convert to raw food. I refuse to use the word vegan, because I don't like it. My problem is that I have to hide from everyone the fact that I'm eating only raw stuff and to do so I have to eat regular food with them from time to time - lunch at work with co-workers, dinner with friends. If I am to mention my intents, I'll be labeled as bat-shit-crazy and pointed to the nearest asylum. I know that "real friends" are suppose to take everything, be understanding and stuff, but it has it's limits and raw-food-eating is beyond them, right there on the same level as any other diet or professional murder :). Take the joke aside, how do you guys do it? How did you tell everyone to go **** themselves when they said you are insane or wrong? And having most of my food raw, has not improved drastically on my appearance, so that I can show them how right I am. Seeing is believing, for the simpleminded. I'm humbly asking for your help! Corin's Response: Wow Vviki! I love your sense of humor! You are asking some very important questions but also some very personal questions. How you deal with these things is more of a personal choice than anything. It really depends on the type of person you are as well as how willing you are to stand up for something you believe in. One great idea is to make food and share it with your friends and family, but just don’t call it raw. Just share the recipes as you would any cooked food recipe--- and watch everyone devour the food and ask how you made it. Raw food is so much more flavorful than cooked food. Generally people are starving for serious nutrition and for really wholesome, fresh, delicious food--- so start sharing! Calling it raw just confuses people---they stop thinking of it as food or a meal. Saying that the people who are supposed to love you wouldn’t stand by you is a pretty profound statement- and since you decided to include it I can only wonder if this is an area that should therefore absolutely be explored. I think you might be surprised to find that these people actually would support you. Maybe not immediately, but they likely will once they see that it is not just a passing phase or ‘fad diet.’ At first my family did not support me either, and yes they though I was nuts. They tried every way they could to try and get me to be “realistic.” Well, I did get realistic, and I have stayed 100% raw vegan for 10 years. I tried every single diet and way of eating out there practically, and nothing made as much sense and worked as well as the vegan raw diet. But all that non-support did produce a lot of doubt in my mind over the years. All you really need to do is find people in your community that DO support you. That is what I did. I spent more and more time around them. Also, ask yourself the question as to whether YOU support you! Do you support your choice? This is the most important question of all. Have you read my f*r*e*e transitioning eBook? In it there is a whole section on how answering the question of WHY you are choosing to eat this way is incredibly important. In other words, what is your reason? This reason is what will keep you dedicated and strong in the face of all obstacles. If you don’t have a strong reason, then you will likely give up. The funny thing is, now that I have been raw 10 years, my family fully supports me and is even trying to do raw food and healthier alkaline food themselves! This has taught me a lot about self-respect and self-trust, for now I have better self-esteem about it all, when really I should have had it all along! I knew it was the right choice for me when I went raw 10 years ago, but definitely there were times when doubt set in due to the realities of the world we live in. Unfortunately, you have to be kind of a crusader and hero today in America to even be vegan, let alone raw. But so many people have stepped up to be superheroes, and raw food is exploding so much worldwide right now, that I promise you if you don’t give up searching, you will find or create a community of people in your area that are at least into sharing in the lifestyle and learning more. It really is a totally hip thing to do now, and there are restaurants in most major cities all over the country now. About the word vegan--- I too have never liked it, in fact it is kind of a dirty word because what it means is generally that instead of meat, what you eat is processed soy and refined grains---a very unhealthy and earth raping diet. Nothing however compares to the environmental destruction and poor health that the meat and dairy industry causes though. So while I would never call myself vegan either through the years, now I have begun using it in order to clarify to people that I eat no animal products, not even honey. To me now, the word vegan implies ethical living and compassion towards all living things, rather than having to do with what I eat, but instead with what I don’t eat or use in my life-like leather shoes. I think of it now just as an ethical choice, more than as a health choice. Honey can be very healthy I suppose with all the living enzymes and bee pollen, however, because of the harm done to the bees in the process, it is not the ethical choice. I did find my health improved however after I stopped eating honey because it was so high in sugar. But let us get back to the social aspect. Socially, it seems that the more certainty, self-esteem, and self-awareness we have as individuals, the more we can easily maneuver in any social landscape and make even more friends. My relationships definitely changed and I also found new relationships as I grew on the raw food diet, but most importantly it made me a stronger person who was willing to go out and create for myself more relationships and better friendships then I had before. My husband and I continue our social lives pretty much the same as before. We still eat out with friends, only friends do try to accommodate us by letting us choose the restaurant. Either that or we just eat before we go so that we can just enjoy the company, rather than the shitty food (sorry, just being honest), and it is the company that it is all about anyway. Often times we will just order whatever salad they have, or you can even order lightly steamed vegetables and put some olive oil or whatever on it. I have a whole page about this here. Remember that this is really about you, not any one else. It is your choice and just like any choice in life, like your choice of career, or your religious or political choice, people ultimately should respect whatever choice that is and love you for who you are--- not what food you eat or person you voted for. Also, the more you are honest about your choices and why, you will find more like-minded friends. We have to be other than afraid of change in life. All of us get so stuck in safety so easily and this is not living. Life is the change. Avoiding change is avoiding life. My suggestion is, if you are really serious about eating this way, and you love it and it is right for you, then simply wait a while to tell people ‘til you are more solid yourself in it. Be excited about it in your own world, and surely people will begin to ask about your lifestyle. Once it really is a way of life, and has been for a while, you can slowly start letting the secret out but not by telling people yourself. Sort of let them discover it like it’s no big deal. That way there is absolutely no energy of you trying to push your lifestyle onto others, which people despise. Just make it about you and how you do things--- not about them or anything else. If you are truly enjoying it and loving it, eventually people, I swear, will just be attracted to you for your choice to do something so beautiful for yourself and not make a big deal out of it. If your appearance hasn’t changed, maybe other things will start to--- like your state of mind, your energy levels, doing more things you want to in your life, etc…. Even if this isn’t the case now, it probably will be in the future in comparison to those around you. Give yourself space and time with this, but more than anything, truly enjoy this miraculous live-giving, delicious food. Revel in it, even if you have to do so somewhat by yourself right now. Seriously search for others to revel in this food with you though--- it’s so much more fun. The creativity involved is immense and joyful. Furthermore, start moving your body and get out with others no matter what you eat. Make this lifestyle you are choosing be about more than food. Eat your healthy green smoothie, yes, but then go out and go to a yoga class or go for a long invigorating hike with others. Keep your energy up and mind in positive, abundant state, which is always more important than food. Be a joyful, loving person and share, share, share, yourself with others. You shall never be alone. Food is such a small part of life, so much so that in the future you may look back at this time in your life and laugh that you ever worried about this so much. Eat what you want, the best that you can, and always remain loving and involved with others--- this is so important.Don't use this as a reason not to eat the way you want though. Good luck and we look forward to hearing from you again with how it is going! P.S. Read Diet for a New America, an old, but still relevent classic- and if you want to share something with people, share this book! At least it clues them in to the reason for being vegan and why you are finding other sources of nutrition. |
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